Are there any actual statistics here? I know people will talk around them, but given that my wife is cheating with a married coworker, what are the actual odds that we can make it? I want to look at this as rationally as possible when trying to compare it to "what I want". A lot of the statistics don't seem to take gender of the cheater into account, for example. 5% odds of us working this out is a lot different than a coin toss.
Also, she's invited me to come to one of her counseling sessions on Thursday. I told her I'd think about it. No idea what I want there.
He is her Plan A. But since he is married that isn't a very solid thing. I know my W in her first EA desperately wanted to be with the married guy she was IMing with, but he was unwilling to leave his W. He just wanted some strange. When she first broke contact she went through awful withdrawals. Even went back on it a couple of times but since he didn't want to end his marriage, he told her they should stop communicating.
So yes, as her Plan B, without a solid Plan A, there is likelihood you can save your marriage. Here is the real question, are you okay being Plan B? You see if her current Plan A falls through, she may keep you as Plan B and look for another Plan A.
My point? Stop trying to save your marriage, and save yourself. Detach. Continue 180s and GAL. Becomes a man only a fool would leave. You will become better, stronger, and more resilient. And the side-effect might be that she gets interested in reconnecting. Then you will get to decide if you want to give her another chance, or if you want to move on.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
