Re: Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 6

[Davide]

I had a wonderful date on Tuesday evening with the woman who attended the same college that I did. She was cute, smart, and interesting. Not only was she a runner (much better than I) in college, but she has continued in that world, working for one of the major sneaker companies. Under other conditions I would be excited for a second date. However, I was already infatuated enough with the (new) prof. that I decided I wanted to focus my attention there. After the date, I let the runner woman know that I really enjoyed our date but was seeing someone else and wanted to pursue it. She wrote back and said she would like to keep in contact as friends. I actually invited her to come climbing on Wednesday with me, so we'll see how that goes.

I was/am infatuated with the prof, though. I would have liked to get together during the week, but she was resistant and was only willing to meet on Saturday. We went to a jazz concert at a tent in a park in the center of town. She was coming from another event and we didn't have time to do a real dinner beforehand, so I proposed a picnic in the park with some Bahn Mi (vietnamese sandwiches). Despite some rain, that worked out very well. We didn't have as much time to talk but the conversation was flowing and interesting the entire time. She was cold at the concert so I wrapped my arm around her shoulder to casually embrace her and shield her from the wind and she responded by stroking my shoulder/chest. That was as intimate as things got, and she was clearly not ready for a goodnight kiss.

I found myself frustrated not so much by that, but by her resistance towards meeting. Yesterday (the day after the date) i suggested meeting up sooner rather than later and even offered to take my moped out to where she lives (a good 45 minutes away.) But she claimed to be not feeling well and not ready to make plans until she feels better. It's a perfectly fine thing to say, but she has consistently put things off and not been forthcoming with sharing things. She was in the city three times last week but didn't share what she was up to until we were talking on the date. I hate playing games, and have made it clear that I am interested, but I need to back off. We have been remarkably intimate in our conversations, both of us sharing very personal things with the other, and I think that is why I got sucked in to putting expectations on the thing. That's my bad. I need to be patient and open. It's interesting to apply everything I have learned over the last year to a new relationship, not just DB strategies, but everything about emotional boundaries, pursuit/distance dynamic, and my own absolute responsibility for my happiness.

Today is the day of my "trial" for the divorce decree. So, at some point this week a judge will go through my papers and sign off on it assuming everything is in order. I should get a copy in the mail later this week or early next week. We'll see if getting that document raises any emotions. Oh, a friend of mine claimed that I should ask for the diamond in W's engagement ring back now, since it was a family heirloom from my grandmother. I had never considered asking for it back, is that normal? I find it stranger that she still has my wedding ring, but asking for that back seems awkward as well.

I also now need to figure out my summer. My Colombian friend is planning a trip to Machu Picchu and Peru for a couple of weeks. That sounds appealing, so I might try to do that. I also likely need to get a car if for no other reason than to transport my pup around. The money might be a little tight if I give W all the money I owe her to buy her out of the house. We'll see.