Attracting the WW back ?

[gzabetas]

From the minute your spouse bomb drops you, it is over. Even if it is for now. You may connect again in the future but for now consider it over. Its better that way.

Its all clear to me now. All the efforts at buying her gifts post BD to show her love, were attempts at bribes.
Or not wanting to deal with the reality of the situation. Why? Cause it hurt like hell.
But looking back (hindsight being 20/20) from a more detached position I can see her actions for the past year (prior to BD) were so offensive and disrespectful. When I got a job offer she was in rage. "Why now ?" she kept saying.
Cause it would break her fantasy of me being the dud and her OM being the shining knight. (PS he is long gone now, funny how that works, but we are still divorced).

I think it would benefit it us all if, from the time we are BD'd we assume that we are now sleeping "with the enemy".
Our spouse has crossed over and is working for the other side. Kind of like those 70s paranoia spy thrillers (Parallax View), where our spouse is brainwashed and programmed to work for the other man/woman.

They truly don't give a rats ass about us at that point. So we need to protect ourselves.
Its hard to believe the person we shared life's ups and downs, children, meals and a bed with could be so ruthless to us.
But it happens. Call it MLC or WW or whatnot, the ingredients are there for a recipe in disaster. Your disaster.
As vets here say, dont forget, she has has a 1 year start on you and you are entering the game late.
The name of the game is now called your survival.

Really if that can sink in for newcomers, it would helps recovery so much.

One thing that has helped me get my sleep back, is when she moved out. It really is better. Even if our kid is with her I will see him in the next few days. But not having the pouting and anger and temper depression, text messaging OM in front of me has been a life saver. It really is out of sight out of mind.

Cooking myself a healthy breakfast and getting ready for a jog.

Starting the new book of my life. Chapter 1