Brave Little Gerda Faces the Icy Game of Reason

[Rita]

I kept reading over what you said about me seeming stronger and more detached. It's funny how that all works. I must've been a mess before as I don't feel that different. But it might also be that things here at home are so dark, so hellish, so unbearably bad, that there is no way for Gerda to waffle or hope. I still hope that there is an end to MLC -- and that, if there is, God restores my love for my H -- but this alien who lives in my house has got to go, there is no way to escape that truth. I think it's just very clear beyond doubt now that there is nothing I can do and that God will have to do it all, if anything is to be done. And it's very clear that I have to protect myself, because it's not just crazy MLCer at home, this stuff is playing out in the real world in court. So I don't know if I changed or the circumstances were such that I had to take a new kind of action. But I did restore certain things about myself via Lent, I am going straight to God more now. And that includes going to Him as I am, which is not necessarily who I wish I was.