If I'd realised how he was feeling a couple of years ago then I'm convinced she wouldn't have got a look in. Other women haven't for 25 years and I don't think it's because she's particularly special. Missed opportunity.
I understand what you're feeling, I feel that too. But I'm currently fighting this thought process because you know what? I think this is too much of us blaming ourselves. We only had 50% of the blame in our marriage deterioration. Our spouses hold the other 50% of the disconnect. Don't take more than your fair share.
I don't think us simply "working harder" would have prevented this. So while we each have regrets, don't let them take up too much space.
Originally Posted by Yorkie
So, what a strange place to be. I do not want to be in a marriage with this man, but I also don't want to divorce him at the moment.
Absolutely agree. When we think these thoughts I think it is largely a fear of the future. Are we going to be hurt further than we are right now? Are we going to feel hurt in the future if we divorce? Are we going to feel hurt if we have the chance to reconcile?
When I have these thoughts I pause and tell myself, "Well then, good thing I don't have to decide today!" and go about my day. For me it helps to not dwell on the unknown future. Who knows what our feelings will be as each step progresses. We can assess our feelings when we get there.
