If you can't beat em, cheat em (thread 2)

[oops13]

Im doing my best to not let this consume me, but I am in so much pain. The worst part is knowing that as much as people say its not my fault, that it kind of is. I took her for granted and I didnt grow up in time. I didnt make her do it technically, but I have to change. I just wish I had done it sooner. Im so broken. None of my selfishness was worth it. This pain outweighs all the pleasure I ever took for myself. Theres no way I can compare to the other guy with my track record. Im so ashamed and remorseful. I miss her so much and its my fault when you get down to it. I failed her and failed myself. This is the only thing thats ever made me cry as an adult and I can't stop. Shes intertwined her aoul with someone better and left me behind. What little light I had has gone from my life.