This is one of the most difficult issues you will ever encounter in life. Its ok to get upset and its ok to cry. Do not hold it in. When my WW moved upstairs in September 2018, prior to confirmation of her PA and post August 2018 ILYBIDLY, I was devestated. I was so hurt and she knew this. I cried nightly. I was extremely upset all the time and I was in full "fix it, pursuit" mode.
It took me until January 2019 to detach. That seems fast but for me it wasnt. I took inventory on my life. Good job, yes, even with the stupid issues I faced. Great kids who are doing ok. Me being healthy, losing weight, wearing new clothes and looking absolutely amazing now. Check.
I sat back and compared what I have to what I would have if my WW came back. The only difference in my life would be that if I had my WW, I would be desparately working to repair a relationship with someone that told me they do not want me, mistreated me horribly, made me their enemy for no reason and hurt me worse than anyone has ever done so in my entire life.
It felt like I had to pry her out of my heart with a dull spoon, but I got there and it worked. I realized I have nothing to prove to the WW. I honestly recognized my issues a few years back, but it was still too late. I am a much better man and in a better place because I choose to be. My WW doesnt deserve my love and support so I removed it from her completely. We all deserve better than our spouses decided to give us.
I allowed myself to meet someone new as well. Again, this is my personal decision and only applies to my situation. Meeting this new woman really opened my eyes. There are nice women out there. Plenty of them would love to have a good man. Plenty of them understand that people have flaws. Plenty of them understand how to communicate. Nobody is perfect, but there are women that would NEVER cheat on you or do anything to purposely hurt you.
I don't even see this woman often, maybe once a month, but just knowing that there are women like this out there, helped me detach 100%. I still live IHS with my WW. But I haven't cried or been upset in months. I am content with who I am. I love myself and I will make decisions that are best for me, make me happy and make my kids happy. WW is out of the equation. She can have her GGW life with her new boyfriend. I don't care anymore.
Last edited by SoTorn; 05/04/1902:23 PM.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
