4 years pieced and still a work in progress!

[joejoe1]

Blu,

I understand the feeling of being stuck. There have been plenty of days, where I just can't anymore. Just can't find the energy to forgive or forget what my W did. I can't find the energy to be happy or content with our M. Can't find reasons to stay other than us having kids together. I know if we didn't, I would be gone. My wife is a good woman. She has a great heart, she is very considerate and beautiful. But, and this but is where I get hung up at. She made a decision, that's hard for a person like me to move pass. Loyalty is high on a characteristics I want in my spouse.

We sat down the other night and I told her I'm having a hard time wanting to stay. And I have a big decision to make. We both agreed we will be ok no matter my decision. It's a lot of work forgiving and healing. For about a month I was coming home angry every night. I just couldn't shake the feeling.

Being vulnerable is not only scary with a person that has took it for granted but it's hard as f#$! to process as well.

After that conversation things became a lot smoother for us. My anger went down a lot.

I met a man at church who W cheated on him. Him and his W stayed together, I asked him how long it took him to get over his W infidelity and forgive her. He said 5 years. I was like, oh hell nah, I can't wait that long. But that was my initial reaction.

My W made some great points as well. She was in a very bad and low place and the way I treated her was horrible before BD. She's trying to forgive me as well.

Onward and forward