Also not sure how aggressively to 180, for instance. W may just be considering things right now, so making assumptions could be dangerous and backfire? It's just tough to know given our communication about anything R-related is effectively zero whether to further distance.
I think what I've picked up from some of the vets is to not worry about what S is thinking and focus more on you and your kids.
I've been going through this for a little while now - so far, no one thing I've experimented with (distance, unpredictability, trying to talk or not trying to talk etc) has been "the thing" that is the final nail in the coffin, or the thing that saves it all.
Rather unfortunately, I can tell you from experience what does not work - smothering, insisting on MC, begging, pleading, trying to convince or "talk it out", and believing that since S is in a better mood today that things are all better.
This is a long haul, it has dawned on me within the past 2 months that it is best to prepare for the worst while still hoping for the best.
