Read and then re-read the links Cadet just posted - particularly Sandi's rules, pursuit and distance, validation, and boundaries. BD hasn't happened yet and you're sensing it's coming.
Give her tons of space and a wide wide berth. Focus on where you've contributed to the deterioration of the marriage and start doing some personal growth to improve yourself. Not to show her or anything, but for yourself. Be a stellar parent towards your kids and be a rock. Definitely no R talks and adding no pressure. Don't be a cold and mean person around her. Be friendly and positive.
This is a marathon! You need the DB techniques for yourself, not just for your marriage. These techniques are designed to give you space and time to figure out yourself and change the focus from your partner to you.
Keep posting! This is a great community and we're here for you.
