Ok. Just stay calm. If you are going to confront her just take a look at the healthier ways to do it. She is not respecting you but don´t go down at her level. Use that logical bad energy that you´ve got with the news to boost your detaching efforts.
oops, take time to process. Deal with everything. Take the advice here, it will help. Your plan in the meantime doesn't change. GAL, 180s, and detach.
Once you are in the right place emotionally you can decide whether to keep trying to save your marriage, or to move on. But remember, deal with your emotions. Make a decision based on clear thinking, and what you REALLY want, not on emotion.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018