Thanks for checking in. I have had some bad days, good days personally. She has continued to be more like herself. She is initiating conversations, she's doing things for me. She knew I was frustrated driving the kids everywhere that she asked if I wanted her to. We've been handling the family duties like a team. She's engaging with the kids. Honestly I can't get over how much she has come out of what I felt was depression.
The only time she got her guard up is at a kids bball game where friends of the family were there. She knows that these people know what's been going on. She froze, would barely acknowledge them and was distant and cold for rest of night. The next day she was better.
What bothers me is she acts more like herself, almost happy, but has zero desire to talk to me about us. I will not engage. I continue to follow Sandi's rules, maybe this is the reason she is more engaged with me.
One of my fears is that she is still very much in replay and can act the way she is acting thinking she has zero desire for a future with me. 2 months ago during the 2nd last relationship talk, she said "I think we are just waiting each other out". What the hell is that supposed to mean, she's waiting for me to wave the white flag, how cruel is that.
During the last relationship talk 1 month ago, she said she was waiting to make sure I was going to be ok with everything. I literally said, "No, I will never be ok with this and I will never agree to anything" I told her that she was free to move out if she felt like she had to. This totally shocked her, didn't know what to say.
I can honestly say my wife is lost, we have had a very loving relationship and we are "Brady Bunch" close with our children. I told her that I was never going to be ok with seeing and raising my children once a week. She even told the therapist that she couldn't do that either.
I do believe my wife recognizes that she is going through something and she needs time and space to sort it all out. It just [censored] to feel like she only sees us as Roommates raising kids.
I honestly felt better when she was depressed and withdrawn for the past 3 months because at least it showed she was going through something. Now it feels like she's content with life without me, which [censored], but she still does stuff for me, talks to me like her best friend and almost thinks about my well being. I know she loves me but wow would I ever like to shake it out of her.
