180 Counterproductive?

[oops13]

Honestly, I'm not sure if it's vague and less dangerous than I think, or if I'm just lying to myself.

Basically theres a guy at work and their relationship is deeper than she's ever let on. I've not found evidence of anything like...lovey. Its flirting and them trading their lives (like books/music/occasional lunch/politics talks) and they exercise together. So shes getting something from it, but from what I can tell so far it's toeing the line of affair without being an affair. Shes told him some things about us that she said she hasn't told to anyone. It's dishonest, but I could also rationalize it if I wanted to. Nothing I can find w sexting or anything. But they have had fantasy talks about her going on vacation with his family, or them moving to tropical places to work together, and he's walked her to her car before, once I think even before counseling.

I know normally this means there's more to it and just the tip of the iceberg, but I'd be shocked if this guy was risking his career and his own marriage to someone honestly incredible for this. So maybe it's one way, or they're slow walking towards it. Maybe it's just "not quite affair" and I shouldn't be asleep at the wheel on working on our relationship yet. When I was being cool and investing in the relationship we were much closer.

Some things make me want to take what my wife is saying at face value I guess, and I'm not sure if it's the same as I'd tell her I haven't told anyone when there is one person I've told. So maybe its hypocritical to jump to affair.

I dont think their relationship is appropriate, and it's definitely undermining us, but where's the line for EA? I think asking this is denial on my part, but I wouldn't be SHOCKED if she turns it around given me doing the right things either?