Moving on to the bright side Part 25

[Dawn70]

I don't have the benefit of some on the board of having to deal with younger children through the divorce and dating process so I'm sure my advice/opinion really doesn't even matter, but I understand why everyone is saying wait a minimum of 6 months. I do have very young grandchildren and for the oldest, it was confusing to her when she met Sparky. She kept calling him "Pops" which is what she calls my XH and I kept having to correct her and it is hard and they don't get it. All she knew was that Grandma Dawn's "husband" was Pops and this man must be Pops since he is obviously my husband. I introduced Sparky to my daughters and grandkids around month 7 1/2, almost 8.

Having said all that, though, you and the good dr. have to do what works for your situation. I agree with what Andrew said that maybe the dr. hasn't gotten what "everyone else" says and that may be why you are sensing some weirdness. You, yourself, said in an earlier post that the main reason you were waiting 6 months is because that is what others were telling you to do. Does that FEEL right to you, though, or are you ok making some informal introductions now? Like Andrew said, I get that you are super analytical and an over-thinker on top of that and you obviously read a lot and put a lot of thought into what you do read and that is a good thing, but you are the only with boots on the ground, so to speak, so I think that it is something you and the dr. have to navigate together. You said you told her 6 months earlier and she said she's heard that but thought it was too long then y'all dropped the conversation. Maybe y'all should pick it back up again. I get that neither of you want to push, but at some point, if nobody pushes, you are both stuck in this weird limbo where you are second-guessing yourselves and each other and you, J9, use that to over-analyze.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should run out and introduce your kids tomorrow. I'm also not saying that once you do introduce them, y'all are going to become an instant family. But, maybe this event this weekend that she mentioned is a good, no-pressure way to go about it. It has been my experience with women (mainly because I am one) if they mention something, it is not usually just mentioning it in general, but mentioning with a purpose in mind, whether they explicitly state that purpose or not. For example, I saw an event flyer for something the other day that I'm interested in going to. I mentioned it to Sparky, kind of in passing, and then we moved on to another conversation. I know at some point, I will have to bring it up again and come out and say I want to go because men don't usually pick up on subtle cues, even if we, as women think they aren't super subtle. I thought I was pretty clear in saying "this sounds fun, we should go". Apparently not clear enough............See what I'm saying?

Above all, people are giving you good advice and again, I'm not necessarily saying you shouldn't follow the 6 month rule. I'm saying listen to advice, but also think very seriously about what is best for you, your kids, the dr. her son and then make the most informed decision you can. You like the dr and she likes you. That is where you are right now. You have NO idea what the future holds. And, if you do, then come sit by me and let's talk about my future too, because wouldn't that be nice to have the gift of KNOWING what is coming.