So, as her father asked me to pick her mother, I went and picked her mother and she came to place. Her mother was in very bad shape and deeply hurt.
As her mom came, I did not speak with MIL about anything related to my relationship, just casual talk.
Now in the evening, my wife panicked and messaged me and asked me to message her about everything I spoke with my MIL ( I guess she was worried that I may talk about the affair and let them know what was going on (which my inlaws are already aware of and haven't told her that they know). Then she asked me later how her mother was doing. She also called her brother and father next day (which she had not done since BD and said she wanted to talk to them like adults and have a conversation. Suddenly she wanted to talk to everyone in her family.
Two days later, she messaged her mom and told her that she was coming to pick her up and also told me separately that she had rebooked her mother's flight for 12th May (she was initially planned to stay for three months).
She also messaged me that she has again started IC and wants to work on her issues and also said her childhood issues ran much deeper than she thought. Some of the things she wrote were : (a) All of you have ruined me (me, her parents). I don't even know who I am anymore (b) I have zero self worth and zero confidence (c) Everyone thinks I have lost my mind and I don't care what anyone says, I am old enough to make mistakes and bear the consequences of my actions and live with them. (d) I changed so much of myself and I don't know what I could have been.
Through this conversation, I just validated and kept my replies short. No R talk or defending myself.
When she asks for photographs of our D for the days D is with me, I do send them, but I don't ask for photos when my D is with her and she sometimes sends me, to which I usually don't reply or just say thanks. I am doing GAL and have been able to detach better as she has moved out.
Her mom being here has actually caused her to be home and not meet OM as I know she is for most part at her apartment only. I am not sure if that is a good thing or bad in the long run.
For me, I am alone for last three days and have been going for run and gym in the evening. After coming back, reading DR for some time, then make and have my dinner. (Though having it alone is sad as haven't done it ever before the BD . ). Sincerely, I am not now craving as much to see her or talk to her as she has moved out. Feels like more of a relief from the daily tension and hurt i was feeling after confronting her.
Also, I wanted to have your inputs on one thing. My wife knows that Divorce is way too big a deal for me and my family. We have had no divorce in my family and mine will be the first one and she is convinced that I will not file it. That would mean that in her mind I will always be a plan B.
What can I do to I turn this around and make sure that I don't make her feel that I am plan B and will be there for her?
. ). Sincerely, I am not now craving as much to see her or talk to her as she has moved out. Feels like more of a relief from the daily tension and hurt i was feeling after confronting her.