Thanks FS. I had my share of dating disappointments this last week and I've been working on turning my attitude around. Historically whenever I experienced a setback in regards to my love live, I would turn inward and negative and dwell on the "failure (it's in quotes because I did not fail. Things just didn't work out for reasons beyond my control". I have been working on balancing my emotions between happiness and sadness because the whole experience has been tiring. One moment, I'm feeling like on top of the world, the next, I feel like everything is collapsing around me. I have made bad situations worse and in some cases, made good situations bad with my thinking and attitude.
This last week after I experienced another setback, I decided to pull in and do things that bring me enjoyment but do it within the confines of my house and the surrounding area. I went to the hills and shot some pictures. The next day I stayed at the house and worked on some yardwork (with a piece of crap lawnmower), made some food for the week, and binged watched "Grey's Anatomy". The next day, I picked up D5 and we got ready for the next few days. During this time, thoughts of my WW and her actions began to creep back into my mind and I started to get emotionally affected again. Thoughts of her "succeeding" in her dating life and me "failing" ran rampant, but I did my very best at ridding myself of that negative mindset. I know that the downer attitude is not going to get me what I am seeking and I used that thought process as a catalyst to snap me out of it. I am turning it around a little now and at the point where I am ready to engage in social activities again. I go to a comedy show in the city tonight and going out bar-hopping with a work buddy. Saturday I am going to a 5K walk hosted by some cute woman on Meetup. I have GAL stuff planned. I am still GAL, but I am starting to focus more on my responsibilities as a home owner. Stuff like lawn care, house repair and improvement are at the forefront. I also am toying with the idea of setting a second part-time job to help pay for those expenses. I also need to take a vacation. I haven’t had one in over two years and with all that I have gone through I really need to take an extended break to relax and enjoy myself.
I am muscling my way through getting a better life through better attitude. It’s been a lot of hard work. I have been reading a lot of books (“Models: Attract Women Through Honesty” by Mark Manson is a fantastic book. More good stuff on being a better man. “How to be a 3% Man” by Corey Wayne is another good one). I am making some genuine friends now. I have been talking to a young mother via the Whisper app for 8 months now and we share a lot about ourselves. There is no romantic or sexual interest between us, and I like it like that. The guy who I am going bar-hopping with is a coworker of mine.
Turning it all around has been a very time and labor intensive process. I am still not done as I am still finding things I need to improve on. Getting back into the dating scene has really opened up another part of me that needs work and I am working on that now. I hope and feel that I can make the same amount of progress in that area as I did the last eight. The goal is to continue to build my self-confidence and self-worth. The (huge) bonus is that I get to date and have experiences that I haven’t been able to experience before. It is just going to take my sustained efforts to get there, while making sure that my needs are met (food, clothing, shelter, D5).
