Oh yes - lots of blame and resentment on my side. Absolutely. Some of it from things that are in the past, yes - but a guardedness because some of that behaviour still continues when I see him now. So it's all mixed in together. We can't piece until I can forgive and let go of resentments - and that's on me. And I find it extraordinarily hard to forgive behaviour I am still needing strategies to deal with in the present - it is still going on. It's chicken and egg for me, and probably for him too. However I cogitate this, and whatever mood I am in when I cogitate, I still come to the conclusion that time separate to work on myself and protect myself from the way he continues to be right now is better for me and perhaps for him too.
