You have my full empathy, support and I am rooting for you, have no doubt - however, one thing I learned is: 2x4's, brutal honesty, and being slapped when spinning is the best medicine.
We are so attached because we and our spouses have been an entity for so long, and now it feels like we are treading waters, and we cannot see the bottom... We basically think the sea floor is filled with great white sharks, and who knows, maybe it isn't - maybe there are actually several mermaids down there, waiting for you to stop treading, and for you to dive down and have a look...
What do I mean? Stop treading waters in this marriage of yours, stop being so focused on what she does, how she reacts, basically HER HER HER.... you will end up treading waters aka mind reading and waiting for so long, that your body wears out and you DROWN in this mess..
Dive under instead, focus on you... Maybe you will have to fence off a couple of sharks, most likely - we all did... But rest assured, that there are treasures waiting for you, if you truly allow yourself to let go, and put yourself first. Stop being so attached to something that has sunken..... Dive, swim and live life..... You are halting your own healing from desperately watching her like a hawk...
The only way this will pan out the way you want to, is to let her go 100%.. Let her go wild, let her drop her ring, let her move out, sell the house, separate, divorce - its all papers and material things... If you are ment to be, she will return - If not, then swim goddamnit, swim, and dont look back...
Its so hard to take the first stroke when you can't swim, because the fear of drowning is overwhelming - when you get the hang of it however, oh boy, the feeling of flying through the water... nothing beats that... I think you know what I am trying to say here....
Drop the rope friend.
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
