FS: the thing about you being a distancer only when you might get rejected is me to an absolute T. I'm extremely outgoing and confident and it's mostly in my marriage that I distance, though I was discussing this with my IC yesterday and there are times when I distance in my friendships too, like they are the ones who go to the effort of contacting me rather than the other way round. I'm 180ing on that to some extent. I realised too that if friends don't bother reaching out to me I just let those friendships lapse because I think they don't care. Hmm.
The thing with the front seat: I have had that same thing happen to me. I have had tantrums about it in the past (that doesn't go well, I don't recommend that behaviour!). It's complicated because on the one hand it's just a sibling rivalry thing, kids fight about going in the front seat. On the other hand it's extraordinarily disrespectful of your H AND your D12 to behave that way. We went through a phase of my kids sitting in the front seat and then laughing at me having to sit in the back, but dh went from letting them do that to saying 'no, that's not ok, you have to sit in the back'. It might be just a seat, but it's symbolic of you being pushed out. I think you should say something nicely to your husband about it if it happens again. Do you think it might have been partly him punishing you over the locks?
