There are days like this for all of us. You are grieving. That's OK. Doesn't weaken your resolve.
I went to an ex's wedding a few years ago. We were barely in our teens when we first got together and were together over ten years. I left him for my H but we (against all odds) stayed friends. I went to his wedding with my H and the girls. We were very much together then. The wedding was in an old monastery/spa resort in France and we were there for 4 days. The morning of the wedding I was having a massage and I found myself balling my eyes out. I cried through the wedding (luckily it was outdoors and I could wear glasses) and cried once or twice during dinner. I cried the next mornign when they left. My H, bless him, didn't ask questions. He just hugged me (a lot). It was not because I was not happy with my choices. I had two beautiful girls, a H that adored me enough to go to my ex's wedding, and I was building a decent life. I was happy. Yet, I was in tears. I was grieving my R 8 years after my R was over.
So, do not beat yourself up. You are human, and you are grieving.
I don't know if he is trying to manipulate you with the mr nice guy act or if he has had enough time/space to realize you are not the bad guy in this. To be honest, it doesn't matter. Stand your ground. You will know what the right thing to do is.
I get how you feel about the house too. I know if we do not sort this out then I will have to sell our home. It breaks my heart because this was our forever home. We wanted to fill it with our hopes and dreams. A place our children could bring their children. I feel more attached to it now that I know it may not be mine next year then in all the years proceeding. But it is just a house. I will build a new dream home for me and the girls. It might not be as beautiful as this one. But it will be mine.
