Nice to hear from you, and so quickly. I am concerned because this is stressful for you, and you are understandably stressing and suffering over it.
I know my part in the pushing of you. Personally, I like to think, “the inspiring of you”, instead of pushing, the well-meaning suggestions and all.
To that end, your struggle is with you, in your heart and head. You are already battling, and you are already winning, because you are looking at this with accuracy, and the heading (idea) of forgiveness and acceptance.
You are demonstrating this slow walk to victory, in some days you feel strong enough and other days you want no part of it. Back and forth, setback and gains, an overall movement forward - that is perfect.
The vast majority of being able to be in the same room as our spouse, ex spouse, person that hurt us, happens before that time; healing is not dependent on seeing them or being in the same room. From my experience, 90% (ok I don’t really have an accurate number, it is high though) is just with ourselves and our demons. That is where you are, and I believe you know this. (((Tad)))
You are making progress. Just read back a bit and see how far you’ve come; much difference view and acknowledging of the possibilities than when first posted.
You are doing very well.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
