Wow! Thank you so much for the kind words. I guess I came to a point of not being able to tell if I was helping or hurting people and that’s a bad spot to be in. People here are more than words on a board ( a good portion of DB’ers from back in the olden days are my real life personal friends) and some here and now I have gotten in contact with and I know are truly real people. And sometimes I read and want to jump out and I can’t because I don’t want to hurt these people. I think I am becoming to emotionally involved and maybe need to step back a bit and just focus on me. Some days it may even color my situation with my boyfriend and I can’t have that either. Things are going great between us. We really are in love and it’s a respect kind of love. We are 8 months now and still getting to know each other. For once I don’t feel a rush. I think I was always knew my other R’s were going to come to an end and I had to keep them together even if they weren’t healthy for me. And I was just worried I was not going to do any better. I don’t have this now and it’s just completely eye opening . I’ve been divorced and dating for 11 years. And I’ve made soo many mistakes, hadn’t respected myself and it took me forever and I finally am, and thanks to people here and IRL.
I only know how to be raw honest and open and it bit always the best thing, butbim glad I could help people with the honesty of my life.
And I want to mention one thing that was pretty defining last night:
My dad and stepmothers dog had to be put to sleep last night . He is the brother of my/ ex’s dog. That dog was my ex’s idea as a Father’s Day gift to my dad. I informed ex that he was being put to sleep. He called me, but I was sleeping. Last night he texted our daughter to say he was sorry to hear.
Here it comes : D11 comes into my room and tells me her dad texted her and I must have told him. She said she felt very lucky and happy to have divorced parents who get along and talk to each other. She said we even laugh together sometimes and that it feels good to watch. She said most divorced parents can’t even talk to each other and we always do and it makes her very happy for that. She said she loves how the 3 of us could spend her birthday with her and that time is very special to her ( on her actual birthday, the ex, me and her do an activity an dinner, just the 3 of us)
If you knew where I can from, this is huge. I did this is for our daughter and also my personal peace. And I can’t tell you how good it feels that it made such a wonderful difference in my daughters life. It’s all I could have hoped for.
I’m stop in from time to time but I’m going to refrain from others threads for a bit while I do some self care for a while. I do appreciate all the kind words and wish you all love all the best on this never ending crazy journey
