Alison— I imagine having a deadline like that could make it both a lot harder and a lot easier...it’s interesting that your H has consistently said that though. I messed up a LOT for the first several months as well (I wish I’d discovered an had the strength for this whole DB thing a lot sooner). Maybe that’s why almost a year later I’m still here...
Journaling... I’m currently feeling a a blend of very torn and very frustrated at being at a plateau again. Though I know the latter is impatience and that means I’m not detached. Sigh. I’m feeling torn because I’ve been getting the advice from my very smart best friend that I should pretty much be going dark at this point—always leaving when my H comes over and avoiding engaging with him about anything but our daughter. In some ways I think she’s right; after all it appears to have stopped (at least for now) the imminent divorce talk that was happening a few weeks ago, and that is obviously something. But I worry that if I go totally dark that I will be discouraging to him and and not giving him anything to miss. It feels like a dilemma— if I’m around for him to chat with he can’t miss me, but if I’m never around him how will he know what to miss? Does that sound all wrong?
