How did YOU get a life?

[SteveLW]

1. She may not have come out and ask for space, but ILYBNILWY is the same thing. You are showing some serious codependency issues (IE needy). You need to back way off and give her plenty of space. Women lose attraction for men that do not respect. Being needy is not worthy of respect. You need to turn this on its head and become the type of man that COMMANDS respect. (Notice that is not the same as DEMANDING respect.) You said you've been distraught. Hopeless. Crying every day. You've probably begged, pleaded, reasoned, etc to and with her to get her to change. None of that COMMANDS respect.

2. We all love our wives and family. However, it is UNHEALTHY to look to others for our own happiness. Yes we can enjoy our relationships with our wives and families. We should even derived happiness from them. But this is an imperfect world. People die. They lose their minds. They make choices that do not include us. Did you ever see the movie Reign Over Me? About a man that lost his entire family on 9/11? Traumatic. Terrible. But you have to be able to move forward NO MATTER WHAT.

3. This is not enough. And this is why you are so distraught, crying, hopeless. Who is SH74? What did he enjoy prior to meeting his W and had his children? Can that guy get back to some of that? It sounds like he lost his own identity. He is (SHOULD BE) more than an employee, husband and father. Are you religious at all? How involved in church are you? Who are your close friends? Do you guys spend time together.

I love my W. I love my D. But at least twice a month I go with a buddy to the gun range. I have other friends I spend time with. In the fall I am gone two weekends a month hunting. Guess what, my W does things that don't include me. My D does things that don't include her mother and me. Healthy people make healthy relationships. And healthy people are not too attached to anyone else.