Hey guys, I just wanted to do a little documentation on what has changed since I started DBing. BD: 3/26/19 W decided to separate: 4/4/19 Started DBing: roughly 4/6/19
How my W acted around BD:
Cold and distant, barely saying 4 sentences to me per day. Started showering/bathing with door closed. (Always open before) No affection. Said I love you only if I said first. Avoided kissing on lips. Slept basically falling off the edge of bed. If I touched her, she would recoil and move away. If I touched her in bed she would recoil almost off the edge of bed. Said wasn’t interested in doing s*xual stuff. Acted very differently to the person she was before. Did not initiate R talks. Expressed 0 interest in counseling
After almost a month of DBing well. In the past week my W has:
Acted very friendly. Initiated conversation many times per day. Has joked around with me. Has been flirtatious. Finds reasons to talk to me (usually about our son) Been incredibly insecure about where I am going, who I have been texting. Has found reasons to touch me non s*xually. Initiated s*xual interactions twice. (Still no s*x though) Has showered/bathed with door open again the last 5 nights. Has initiated touching/cudding in bed last 5 nights. No longer sleeps practically off edge of bed. Has initiated massaging each other twice. Has expressed sadness with my detachment twice. Has initiated 3 R talks. Has expressed possible interest in counseling. Has talked about future plans together Has been walking around naked/in underwear in front of me. (Wasn’t around BD.)
I’m not trying to read into her actions. I know a lot of this could be temp checks. I just wanted to show how my 180s, detachment and GAL have affected her behavior towards me. I find it very interesting.
Side note. During week after BD I wasn’t eating and couldn’t sleep. After detaching I am eating well and sleeping well, have even gained some pounds of muscle after a long plateau. My W has had trouble eating and sleeping since BD. She has been having stomach problems since BD and even went to the Dr. yesterday. Shows how detachment can be so helpful and positive because I have been feeling great lately. Seems like her insecurities and uncertainties about the future are really stressing her out. Without DBing I would probably be doing just as bad. So thankful I found this forum and thankful for all the advice.
