180 Counterproductive?

[oops13]

I've settled on killing the vacation if it's going to be as friends. I'm just trying to decide if I should bring it up myself. I guess I'll have to.

GAL is excellent.
Detachment is bad because I'm ruminating and second guessing.
180s strong.

Talking to OM isn't what it sounds like. We just talked in the hallway about work and other random things. Not "talking to him" in the confrontation sense. I haven't let on that I know a thing to him, and I don't think she knows that I know either.

I guess I'd put it like this: I know she isn't trying to save our marriage in earnest because she's investing more into the OM. She doesn't know I know this, though. The picture she has painted was that she is trying through IC, and that OM is not a problem, and that she "wants us to work". For me to come out and say that I know that she isn't trying, and I'm killing the vacation if it's not an earnest attempt at reconciliation will beg the question of why I'm tearing through the myth she's constructing for me. I assume I should be short with words like you just put in your previous post. I did that in fact more or less yesterday, and then she said she "felt so distant and wants to work on it" and kind of duped me into considering it. I'm not good on my toes yet and this stuff always hits me the next day. I think in the moment I figured it would provide an opportunity for me to Be Attractive.

I need to focus on building respect. Confrontation with her is probably a good thing if I do it right.