I'm having trouble navigating one thing, and that's the fact that I haven't set any boundaries with the OM or blown all of this open. I think she doesn't know that I know, and I'm almost okay with that from the perspective of not wanting to force them underground more.
But also, early on, when she told me he wasn't anything, I said "oh okay" because I didn't want to display any jealousy or insecurity. This makes the whole vacation thing awkward. I may need to assert more that I do not want to go as just friends next time it comes up, but I cant decide if I want to confront about the OM. I'm not even sure she knows what she is even doing is wrong, but the grass is definitely being watered over there more than my grass. Im temped to tell her that if she "wants to work on us" as she says, that she needs to back it up by ending her inappropriate conduct, but doing so reveals that I know, and I'm sick of talking about the relationship any more than I have to. But, in being cool about it, I'm also leaving myself open to being weak perhaps.
Also this morning she said ILY and gave me a hug when I left. We made eye contact and did the peck while going out the door kiss. It didn't feel like pursuit, but I'm being wary.
Say nothing to her about OM.
Tell her that right now, with the state of the MR, you don't feel like it would be wise to go on vacation. That a lot has happened and is happening and you need time to process through everything. Tell her that if and when things get better in the future, then you can always go on vacation later.
Then stick to it through the begging, pleading, crying, maybe even screaming, and threats. Attraction is about taking back respect. WWs in the midst of an EA that get their husbands to take them on a friend zone vacation do not engender respect. Many LBSs have made the mistake of going on vacation anyway, and coming back to an even more distant WAS. Including a couple here recently. Don't fall into the trap.
DB! GAL! Detach. You are way to focused on her.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
