Maybe the line lies somewhere between the content of/feelings behind what he says and the way he says it? I’m thinking of a strategy I sometimes use with my 3 year old daughter when she’s behaving in a way I don’t like and I can tell she’s tired/hungry/upset about something. It sounds something like “Please don’t talk to me that way, it’s rude and it hurts my feelings. If you can’t stop doing that I’ll have you go in your room for a few minutes” then blah blah blah she reacts and I deal with it. Then I turn back to her and address whatever feelings I know she is dealing with. Obv slightly different for an adult, but the point being that maybe it’s not all so black and white, and in some instances there is room for setting the boundary as well as validating whatever may be valid...? I’m not sure I’m qualified to give advice on this topic, just a thought
