Hi Alison, thanks for checking in! I’m doing ok. My 3 year old daughter has kept me quite busy and I haven’t seen my H since Saturday night when he was here with our daughter. I’ve been thinking a lot about trying to be encouraging to his bids for connection without being pursuant and while still still detaching. It’s complex! He’s coming this evening to be with our daughter and I’ve been making a point to leave every time he comes. He’ll often text in the afternoon to talk about dinner plans. For a long time I’d just have dinner with them, sometimes if cook or sometimes he’d bring take out, and lately I’ve been declining all of that and leaving regardless. I sometimes worry that I’m being discouraging to him this way. But if I don’t, then I’m missing my rare opportunities to GAL, as these are the only evenings I’m not at home with my daughter. Maybe I should stay occasionally, if he makes an actual offer to cook or something...I also worry about cake eating when I stay while he’s here. Lately he likes to discuss his work troubles and random things with me, and that feels like something one does with their spouse. I don’t really want to give that to him given the sitch. I guess I just don’t know where the lines are between GAL/detaching while still encouraging and fostering warmth and intimacy.
