180 Counterproductive?

[oops13]

Weird night last night. She brought our looming anniversary vacation that was planned then limbo'd back up. I told her going to another country as "just friends" is a non-starter for me, since she hasn't indicated that she wants to improve the relationship. She asked how I would feel about her going somewhere alone, I plainly told her to do what she has to do.

She said that we "used to be so close now theres so much distance" basically couched in terms of barely friends anymore since I've been detaching, maybe with too much withdrawing I admit, to which I responded "yes. you have space". She said she's trying and that she does want to work on us and grabbed my hand, and said she would rather us go together and get away from the norm and stress even if she "cant be a real wife" right now. I think in this case she means that like a "be passionate and kissy" euphemism.

At this point I told her I am willing to do something in the US, and gave her 3 choices of places. In my mind though, I'm skeptical that this is cake eating or temp checking or something. I have enough friends. That said, I told her to go alone and she seemed to strongly want to do something with me. The mental health stuff really clouds this up though, some of this might just be her depression/instability.
I saw two interesting things over her shoulder. Firstly shes looking for a new job. Secondly her IC sent her a book to read for fixing marriages.

Anyways, I worked on some plumbing projects last night that were stressing both of us out. She seemed warm with me in conversation last night, made her laugh really hard picking on her some.

Doing my best to have no expectations on any of the above, and maybe I can have fun surfing. Im surprisingly calm last night and tonight.