Sorry you are here. You will meet some wonderfully helpful people, and find the support you need to help you through this. You will receive very wise advice. Heed it. Take it from me, they are usually spot on, and you will one day find yourself moving forward.
Originally Posted by Sh74
Since we started marriage counseling in February, I keep thinking I am fixing our relationship, but then I am shocked to learn at our counseling sessions that she is in no better place. I am a good provider, good father and I always thought a pretty good husband. I know that my wife and I both hate conflict, so that has problem swept a lot of problems under the rugs.
What is your goal in marriage counseling? You say you are “shocked to learn that….. she is in no better place”. Does she want to be there? If she is still stuck, and doesn’t want to work on the marriage, no amount of visits to the counselor will probably help. H and I did MC for about 8 months. He couldn’t get out of ping-pong mode (should I work on the marriage, D, just move out). So, I finally told him I thought it was best he moved out to figure it out. That was 8 months ago. I have come a long way. I think he is still stuck. So, re-evaluate whether MC is right for you now.
Originally Posted by Sh74
So, I am hoping that you guys can help me to save my marriage. I am terrible with getting my own life. I work long hours and always felt guilty not spending time with the kids and my wife after work. Now I am feeling depressed and don't want to leave the house. I also like the love I get from my kids when I am at home so that is making my GAL even harder. So, I need help in being able to do this.
To be a good father, and frankly, husband, you NEED to GAL. It will make you a more content, happier person, provide the needed distractions, and ultimately make you a better father. That is your goal. Letting yourself go and sitting around the house depressed is not attractive to your wife, and will not help your kids through this. Some of your GAL activities could include your kids – hiking, perhaps? Start thinking outside the box.
So my friend. Start GAL, read the boards, heed the advice, and sometimes just come here and vent. It helps, and has been valuable gift for me.
