I'm good R2C. It's been a climb as always, but I'm still moving forward. I'm still growing, I'm still learning, I'm still taking my lumps, but I'm also enjoying my life a lot more. I have been having a pretty active social life as of late, but I had to pull it back a little since it is taking time away from myself, D5, and my house.
I am in the house 7 days per week now. WW has moved out. I have D5 Sunday through Wednesday evening. Thursday-Sunday morning I have to myself (party time!) which I use to socialize, do some housework/chores, and workout. I am still following the three day per week weight lifting routine. 36 straight weeks so far and I started my 37th yesterday.
Work is going well. I'm really starting to get into a good groove with my routine and enjoying every moment of my time there. A car has been offered to me and it may be possible that I will be getting one without taking a deduction in my pay. The hold up is the insurance and whether or not D5 will be covered as well, since I have to do pick up and drop offs at her preschool.
We started to do our research for schools for D5. First school was about 30 minutes from where I live and 20 from WW. It was a nice school. We may be able to work it out if we can figure out how we can continue the balance of having WW and I see her on a regular basis. School is about 4 months away, so I'm hoping that a decision will be made by us soon. D5 herself is doing pretty well. We make the most of each other's time while we're together, which is primarily evenings at the house. It's fine, but I do miss her having her for full days on weekends. But I also know that it makes my social life a little more challenging. Blessing in disguise, I guess?
WW has had a rough month. She was forced to take a job in the city and her abrupt departure from her old job left a bad taste in her former boss and coworkers mouths. The term “disappointment” has been uttered by her former boss a handful of times, from the way she submitted her short notice, to how she left the condition of the school on her final day. From my understanding, they have totally distanced themselves from her and have not contact her in any way shape or form. Her new job is a salaried position, being a director of a children’s school. The pay is good, but her hours are long. She is up at 430 AM and works until 630 PM or later. Her co-workers are awful and do not respect her authority at all. Her boss is nearly non-existent. I remember one weekend I was dropping off D5 with her so I can attend a social event. While I was on my way to the drop-off point, she called me if I was looking forward to where I was going and I said yes, I was excited. She started to joke with me that I was going to some oriental massage parlor and continued to joke with me until she pulled up. Her driver’s side window rolled down but I was in a rush so I just opened the backdoor and made her get buckled in. I then approached my WW to wish her a good night when she rolled her window down. She was crying. A lot. I just stared at her, to which she said she’s fine. I did not say a word, opened her car door, and held her while she sobbed into my chest. It was a good minute or two before I let her go and I let her just talk to me. Again, I made no suggestions to improve her situation. I was about to utter the words “It’s going to be OK” but stopped myself, knowing that I was not going to validate her feelings by saying that and that doing so would make light of her feelings in that moment. She talked for a good 10 minutes before I told her that I am sorry she is having a rough time right now. She told me she had to get D5 to bed and that I needed to get to my event. So I gave her an affectionate squeeze on her arm and wished her on her way.
Two weeks later was the day that the accident, car-window shooting, and dead body viewing event occurred. She called me bawling and told me how awful of a day it was and how she hates living in the city. I just said “I know. I know you’ve been dealing with a lot and today has been very tough. I know you don’t like living in the city and I can see how those things would make her want to have those feelings.”
Our conversations are more playful and friendly. We now talk to each other about 15 minutes per day (she calls me). There are times in which she just talks and I listen. She still talks about filing the paperwork to finalize everything but neither of us has started the formal process. I may start it, I may not. It depends on how my dating life goes.
My dating life is still in its infancy. I have not made much positive progress in that realm, even though I have had attempt with 6 different women. I was either ghosted, given the friends speech, or they just told me they were not interested. It’s been frustrating because logic would say that things should have progressed to something as the interaction between me and the women continued. That has not been the case. I have joined a coaching group who I have been working with on figuring out my shortcomings and fixing them so that I can progress on my next attempt.
And here I am. I am settling into my new normal. I am still in pain, but it’s not as bad as it used to be. When I do get a visual of what WW and OM2 have done, of what WW has said to me, of all of her actions, I still go through my emotions of anger and sadness, but I am making a lot of progress of letting it go sooner. The advice I have obtained her – Just let it go – is always on my mind and in my actions. Some days I succeed and other days, not so much. It’s just the way things are right now, which I expect will improve as time passes. I’m hoping to not be away as long between postings. I have just been making adjustments and living life. And I’m starting to feel and believe that life is indeed good.
