I found an interesting letter from W that she wrote me a while before she checked out. I wanted to share it and get other opinions on it. So far, the opinions I've gathered about it are...well...I don't want to say. But this was BEFORE she moved out.

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Hey babe,


I've been doing a lot of thinking since our last fight. I can't stand the way your mind always looks for the easiest way out. The path of least resistance. But I hate picking up, cleaning, doing the dishes, too. So, I'm trying to sympathize with that.


I just really feel like the household duties are disproportionately doled out. I wear way too many hats. And when I try to delegate some of my responsibilities to you, I almost always end up disappointed. Either the task was done wrong, or not finished, or not even done at all.


And that's so incredibly frustrating that I want to cry. I feel like I can't rely on you for help or relief. And I think to myself "why didn't he think to do it before I told him to? Why is it so hard to do things the right way, the first time?! I shouldn't have to babysit this man!"


Those thoughts run through my head every single day. I hope you can understand how and why I get so angry.


But today I've been trying to appreciate all the things you do for me that I overlook. I know I overlook the things you do and focus on the things you don't. It's easy to be mad. It's hard to be fair and understanding.


You helped me close last night [note: we worked a mutual PT job at a restaurant]. You were willing to watch me eat even though you were tired. You got out of bed and picked up the baby and kept him out of my hair long enough for me to get some sleep.


Tonight, instead of going to band practice, or to play Magic with friends, or anything else you might want to do, you're gonna stay home with our son so I can go to work. You'll probably spend your time thinking of me and how you could fix things.


And that's another thing I overlook and under-appreciate - you constantly trying to find ways to fix things so that I can be happy.


But happiness is a choice, and I've been choosing to be unhappy, so there's honestly nothing you could have done. No magic button to press. My happiness is up to me, but I've left it up to you. No one can make me happy if I do not chose to be happy with what I have.


I have you. never in my life has anyone loved me more completely or selflessly. Really, you're obsessed (in a good way). Most of the time you completely ignore how crazy I am. How mean. How rude. How ungrateful. You overlook my faults like you can't see them. And you just love me fiercely. And I'm awful to you.


I love how your lips are so warm in the morning when I kiss you. I love that you say "I love you, too" in your sleep. I love the way your eyes deepen when you look into mine. I love the way it feels when we hug each other. I love your silly jokes and all the inside jokes we share. I love you.


No matter how angry or mean I get, that doesn't change. I don't feel like my world is okay until we make up.


And I don't think a "perfect partner" exists, but I'm starting to think that it's not about finding someone that never lets you down.


It's about finding the person who wants you, even when you let them down.