That makes a lot of sense trying to understand the process. I think to shut down the R talk next time I will say something like, “ we have already discussed this and if you have nothing new to say I don’t want to talk about it.”
Just gonna do a little journaling with a question at the end:
Not much going on since my last post. Last few nights W has been initiating cuddling. She has been friendly. She has asked “what’s wrong” multiple times. Probably because of DB behavior.
I came across some old pictures of us at a country concert having a great time. I know I’m doing well at detaching but I had a moment of sadness. It’s just crazy to me that after going through so much with a person good and bad, that they can just be done with you like the flick of a switch. I know I messed up on a lot of things through out the MR, but damn I think I did a lot of things right too. Anyone moving on from the pity party.
So a few days after BD was our 1 year marriage anniversary (7 years) together. I had not found DB at that time so I wrote a really thoughtful card to her. That card ended up untouched for a week and then on the floor behind a table. I left it there.
I came home yesterday and the wife had cleaned up my MBR. She had put the card in the bed with what looked like other bits of garbage. I ended up tearing it up and putting it in the garbage. This morning she saw it. After I loaded my son in her car I was walking back to the house. She rolled down her window and asked for a hug. Which she hasn’t done since before BD. As I approached she said “it made me really sad that you threw away the card. I was going to keep it. I replied “well you left it untouched on the floor for a month so I figured it was trash.” I hugged her and she said something about me touching her fat to which I complimented her that she wasn’t fat at all.
Other than that she has been showering with the door open again. As of BD she began showering with the door closed.I had suspected EA through the phone but had no hard evidence. I kinda wonder if she told the possible OM to stop contact until she moves out in 3 weeks. Or maybe there is no OM who knows.
I know Sandi suspected she was a WW but I feel that she’s a more typical WAW. She hasn’t been going out partying and drinking. She continues to be a great mother to our son and spends a lot of time with him. She has even really opened up to me since BD. Her mom said to me the other day that before my W decided to move out she told her mom that she wanted to make sure I had a plan before they moved out. From what I’ve heard most WW don’t give a damn about the LBS so this was interesting.
Things seem to be improving but in the end she is still planning on moving out. We’ll see what happened down the road.
Was it wrong of me to tear up the card? I spoke very calmly about it and didn’t show any anger over the situation. Just figures the wife who was leaving me had no interested in the love card.
