On the furniture, do you have an IKEA near you? Inexpensive stuff that looks good and is functional.
Yes, we do. One of the good things about SoCal is that an IKEA is not that far away. I’m conflicted about IKEA furniture—more of a W / STBXW thing (she loves it, but that’s not the reason for my conflictedness), but I also understand from a cost / temporary measure it may be necessary to get by for now.
Originally Posted by Steve85
Hang in there. Though I've never been through it I did stare it in the face for a while. And I've known many friends that have gone through it. Believe it or not, no matter what, in a year you will think it is the best thing that ever happened to you.
Thanks. I’m surprised I stared this down as long as I have—until she blinked, and is now leaving / moving out. Which is why I’m so, so grateful that I’ve listened to my L, my family, and everyone here on the forum about standing up to her and standing up for myself and the boys—as a result, I’ve had almost an extra 4 months with the boys under the roof with them together full-time, and that to me is beyond priceless.
Despite the difficulties / challenges that lie ahead, I am somewhat optimistically looking towards the future. I do hope that this time next year I can look back on this and say that yeah, this was a good thing, especially in light of all the changes that I’ve made in myself and in my relationship with the boys, as well as relationships with others.
That said, I do like a number of the changes I’ve made in myself so far—attitude (despite present melancholy, but today is just shaping up to be one of those days anyway), focus, exercise, body / looks, improving how I dress (still needs some work, but better), going ‘all-in’ on the boys, trying to GAL.
I am somewhat philosophical / melancholy about her leaving and taking stuff—and this is me reflecting, so if I come off as mopey, so be it. I’ve had to rebuild a number of times throughout my life, anyway, so why not start all over again? I’m still relatively young enough (just turned 36), so I can recover in a number of ways—emotionally, financially, relationally, and hopefully build myself and a future attractive enough that someone more right for me will want to ride alongside of me and want to be a part of it, and we can be more equals. That’s down the road, though—nothing immediate.
I feel like I’ve had to clean up / cover for her messes in the past, so why not just let this be done, so I can truly start over the way I want to? (Kind of a ‘burn it all to the ground and rebuild / grow from the ashes’ mentality. My mood last week was very much ‘burn it all to the ground,’ with getting over being sick, grades due, telling the boys, working with STBXW on custody / visitation schedule.)
I talked earlier in my post about ‘getting by,’ and to be honest, I’m sick of ‘getting by.’ I feel like in our MR, I’ve had to ‘get by’ on a number of things—I’m done with that.
