Re: Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 6

[Davide]

Weekly update:

The job is officially out so I signed my contract for another year. It's not binding so I could still leave, but at this point I am done actively looking, and I am assuming that I will stay. It was a bit of an ego-blow not to get the offer, but I am okay where I am. Now I can make summer plans without worrying about whether or not I am moving. Perhaps I should also replant the vegetable garden that my W set up in past summers.

On the dating front, I had two poor dates in which there was no connection, another one was actually very interesting but I don't think I will pursue it because the final date was that good. It is another university professor, and it turns out that she works at the same small university as the last woman I dated for two months! It is an incredibly small world! I let her know about that right away because I thought it was better to rip the band-aid off right away rather than let it fester. They are in different departments but she immediately knew who I was talking about before I even mentioned her name, and evidently knows her well enough to comment that her (the other prof's) 3 year old is adorable. That part was a little awkward. However the date in general was spectacular. We were going to meet up for dinner, but the day before she texted me to tell me that she had tickets to a touring musical that was in town, and asked if I wanted to go to the matinee with her, before dinner. So we did. The show was campy, corny fun with a soundtrack full of 90's songs which we both grew up with (she is 5 years younger). Then we walked around town, went to a park, and then a coffee shop for some tea, before we finished the date with an excellent meal at my favorite italian place.

Since we had so much time to talk and since she was not shy about asking me questions, a lot came out for a first date. She asked me all about my divorce, what precipitated it, as well as a lot of family history. However, it wasn't an interrogation. It felt natural, and I was more than happy to be open and honest about it. She also made it very clear that she is looking for someone to settle down with and she is looking to start a family (have kids), which is more than fine with me. Evidently she was in a relationship recently where she was at the point of getting engaged when she found out that the man had lied to her about wanting to start a family and she broke it off because of that.

I am definitely a little infatuated but also wary. She is tall (taller than me in heels!), thin, blond, from an Eastern European country. She was dressed very well but formally (we were going to a musical), and she was almost effervescent in her personality. This is generally not my type at all as I almost never date blondes (very hard in the southern part of the US!), tend towards low-maintenance women and am skeptical of bubbly people. That said, she is clearly very intelligent, very attractive, and knows what she want. She is also a great listener. On so many dates I end up asking all the questions and learning about the other person, but it is rare to find someone who reciprocates, who asks questions and knows how to be present, listen, and follow-up without making it all about themselves. Honestly, right now I'm just trying to slow down my roll as it is quite easy to get ahead of myself. I'll take things as they lie, be present, and be open to the possibilities. That said, I am looking forward to our next date on Saturday.

I have one more first date set up for Tuesday. I am intrigued because this woman graduated from the same university that I did (which is a small one up north, not very well known in these parts.) She also ran track (athletics for the Brits) at there, which I also did. She seems very smart, active, and attractive as well.

Hope all is well with everyone!