The aftermath - OrangeK

[SteveLW]

I didn't go searching for this new information. It's not my fault if S4 gets in the car and tells me about the Saturday he spent with some new guy

I totally understand that, but you made the choice to do the detective work looking for weddings in the area he lives. Your son is going to tell you things, that's inevitable. But it's your decision on what you do after that. Trust me. I've been there. Going out of your way to find out if she's lying is addictive. I did the same thing. Last year when W would say she couldn't watch the kids because she had to work, I would drive past her work to see if her car was there, go by OM's house to see if her car was there, creep her FB profile to see if she posted about being somewhere else. The only thing it did was drive me crazy. This was after I was "detached". Because in my mind, I didn't care what she was doing. It didn't bother me. Until I woke up one day and realized if it I didn't care and it didn't bother me, I wouldn't be wasting my time looking into it. I decided she wasn't worth the headspace she was taking up and I really quit caring. And quitting wasn't easy. The urge to verify her whereabouts was still strong, but the became less and less the longer I went without looking into. It's a lot like quitting smoking and needs to be done cold turkey. No peeking. Like I said in my last post in my sitch. Whatever... You're better than that, Orange. Don't waste time out of your life worrying about if she's doing what she says she's doing...

I can vouch for this. Same thing with me an snooping on my W. Each time I did it set me back. I love the smoking analogy......the urge is very similar.