I agree G......I think she just wanted me to know for whatever reason.
Spent all weekend with the Dr. it was fun, relaxing, and I felt us becoming closer. This was the first weekend in over a month where our kid schedules were aligned and I think at least for me it was very much needed. When you are just going over to someone's house for sex during the week or just out to eat and then sex on a Friday night I think it has been difficult for me to see her in a different light. We just hadn't had the time to spend hours with each other, just relaxing doing nothing, hanging out, etc. with no time table.
Ahh, the different light. Not just the dressed up part with all of her cosmetic enhancements looking beautiful going out on the town (giving the perception that is all she is). I some times forget she is a mom which is something I have not witnessed or have seen her in action. That behind all the enhancements she is a mom! She is also a strong independent woman that is smart, own her own business, manages her own finances, makes her own decisions, drives herself, etc. My XW was the polar opposite, managed no finances, really made no decisions for the family, definitely didn't shoot guns or clear the fence line on her ranch, ride around in a Polaris, etc. She didn't even do yard work at our house.
Friday night we went out, listened to a band and got tipsy. The conversation got deep at one point, her telling me how much she likes and I falling in love with me. Then she started to tear up as she was telling me what a good person I am, knows the value I bring, apologizing for how bad my XW hurt me, and how she can "see" me. It was probably the alcohol talking more than anything but it was an interesting moment for sure. We have spoken about our former marriages, what happened, the effects on us etc. as we have gotten closer and learn more about each other but it certainly has not dominated our conversations. I guess it has been something that has been on her mind for her to bring it up. Still no kid meeting talk yet, just the acknowledgement that it will happen at some point. No "I love you" words have been shared yet either.
She also told me that she is really scared as she has not found a reason yet to get ride of me and usually it is very easy for her to dismiss people she is dating.
I left her place Saturday morning to go to my daughter's soccer games then back to her place afterwards so we could drive out to her ranch. We hung out there the rest of the day Saturday, shot her AR 15, did some work around the place and consumed some adult beverages. No in-depth convo's Saturday but we were both really tired and fell asleep pretty early. We woke up Sunday morning, I made breakfast, then we cleaned up the place then left. We got back home around 1 and then I left to go home as I had a ton of stuff to do around the house. We will see each other again on Saturday.
My girls are aware that I have a friend that makes cupcakes. My oldest asked me if she could bake her a cake. The Dr. did buy me a pillow for her place which I thought was very sweet. I slept much better Saturday night because I took my pillow with me to her ranch.
I am starting to see a future with the Dr. I still feel very centered though emotionally and don't feel this need to spend every waking moment with her. I do feel that my emotions are starting to get engaged. I feel very comfortable around her, that I can be myself. I don't feel pressure to be someone I am not. She doesn't care about my money, what I make, where I take her, what I can do for her in that regard, etc. She is very down to earth and practical. She is not a lavish spender, shops at second hand stores, uses coupons, doesn't have a fancy car, or jewelry, clothes, etc. I think at times it was hard for me to get past her enhancements to see her for who she truly is.
