Not Sure Where This Is Going

[Niall11]

Educational weekend that, I believe, helped me realize how far gone my wife is.

This weekend was her new lesbian BFF's birthday. W was going to take our D2 to her potluck party on Saturday afternoon. D2 hadn't had a nap or lunch so I took her for a drive to get her to sleep and then to a playground, with the plan to drop her off at W's party after the playground. I decided I was having a great day with my D2 so I texted W that I would stay with her for the afternoon.

I had plans to go to a movie with my friend on Saturday evening. W, who was supposed to be home at 5, rolled in closer to 8 and asked, "What are you doing after the movie?" with a gleam that almost made me think she wanted to do something with me. No, silly. She wanted to know if I could hurry home from my night out so she could go out with lesbian BFF...again.

"I mean, if you're going to hang out with [friend] after that's totally fine, don't change your plans, but if...you...were...going... to...just...come...home, maaaaybe I'd still be able to go out."

Not a chance I was coming home early. Not a chance.

She said, "It's my friend's birthday. There's a lot of stuff planned." Give me a break. She went dancing with this woman Friday night, spent six hours at her birthday party on Saturday, was going to spend 4 more hours at a birthday brunch on Sunday, and they have a dance class together every Monday night. That's four straight days, plus they work in the same building.

In 10 years, she never made such a fuss over my birthday. Or her own, or anyone else's. I told her no way I would be home in time for her go out again, it was a long movie, we were seeing it in the city, it wouldn't get out until after midnight.

"Oh, OK, no that's totally fine."

Then she texted me SIX times during the movie. "Soooo....any chance you'll be back soon?" "Are you still in the movie?" "When is this movie ending?" Yes, I was still in the movie (saw texts when I got out) and did not respond. Strolled in around 1:30 and went to sleep.

Yesterday morning I did a community cleanup, took D2 to the park while W did her brunch with new BFF, and then I had to chair a meeting after. I lingered after the meeting, talking for a couple of hours with the people hosting, then walked home to put D2 to bed.

I knew before, but I don't think it hit me quite as clearly that she wants to be out with her new friends literally ALL THE TIME, has no concern for me as a person or my time, and precious little for being with our D2. She's like the teenagers she teaches.