I think it's never, ever a bad idea to be kind. And never a bad idea to accept that in a particular time or place or towards a particular person, we can't quite manage it. I don't think I will ever have it in me to be kind to my father, so I just don't see him. When I try to be kind to H it is because I want to extract some love or affection from him, so it isn't really kindness. If I could be properly kind though, I think it would be the right thing to do.
