I found an old thread by Mozzi titled to "Be Kind or Not to be Kind" which had some good debate about whether or not to be kind to our spouses. This is something I have been grappling with lately. If we are to move forward (whatever that may be) I know one of us has to let the other in, even if just a little. There are times when I can see he tries, and I bat it straight back by giving closed responses and being dismissive or aloof. I have always stuck to the script: keep conversations short and business like, don't give too much away "I have plans", "I am out that night", "I stopped and met a friend".
I know that this is something that needs to change in me. A 180 I can implement now that I am stronger. But the fear of being hurt is still there.
GAL I've had a really nice weekend with the kids. Went shopping then took them to see the Avengers End Game yesterday and we all really enjoyed it. I missed two key parts because I had to step out twice (once to get popcorn and once to take D9 to the toilet) which kind of s*cks but I guess that's the price of being a mum. We then tried out a new Chinese restaurant for dinner. Today has been more chill out. We stayed in apart from running errands.
Overall, and apart from going out with friends, GAL has dropped a lot lately and I need to re-start some.
1. Yoga - do more at home and try and attend 5 classes a week 2. Painting - haven't picked up a paint brush all year so at least one evening a week I need to paint 3. Reading - Read one book a week 4. Watch less TV 5. Do a 'home' clean up project each week (e.g. sort and throw out to small clothes from D9, sort through the linen cupboard).
180 I am going to start a daily to do list of all the things I need to get done. I concentrate too much on work and have let my life admin slip.
Lovingly detach Pretty good with detaching but need to work harder on the 'lovingly' bit.
What I took from Mozzi's thread is it is OK to flirt a little but do it like you would someone you had met and were interested in ... because when you meet them there is no expectation - it is just a bit of fun. If you have expectation, then you have to stay in the plain old 'detaching' phase. Flirting might be a bit much for where we are at ... but I could start with taking an interest in his day to day over and above the children.
