DV - I agree my H keeps things private partly because he doesn't want to hurt me. I would throw in the following though ... I do not tell him what I am doing either. Because when he left he wanted to lock me out and I wanted to detach. And now it is habit. A good example is instigram. We both have private accounts. I opened mine a few months after he MO, and he opened his around Nov last year. He didn't tell anyone. Earlier this year he added D12, then D9 and then his mum, brother and his sister. One night I sneaked a peak via D9's account. There is nothing there - just photos of sunsets, sunrises and pics of the children. I have an instigram account too ... he is not on mine either. Mine has photos of sunsets, sunrises and pics of the children. Habit.
Dilly/Alison - I appreciate your thoughts.
Funny, I said the same thing to Davide on his thread (though slightly more tongue in cheek), and his response, which I think goes for me too, with went something along the lines of ...
This is where I reflect, where i sort my thoughts and separate the emotional from the rational. IRL I hardly ever mention my sitch. I just live it. I make decisions with little thought of the impact on my H. And mostly my life is pretty good. But when the day is done, and my children are in bed or with my H, or in the early mornings, alone with my coffee, I allow the thoughts to come and I write them here. It helps me to understand.
The spices are a good example. I opened his cupboard, saw the spices, felt the sting, and then pushed it away, read to analyse later. I made my coffee, smiled and then chatted to H and D9 about their plans for the day. It was an emotional response to something mundane. Rationally I know that it means nothing other than he is trying to cook.
