I want to speak to the feeling of how being civil or friendly is showing her that everything is OKthst was my fear for a while. Then I realized just being a person who doesn’t walk around with hate in her and walking around with forgiveness instead was the way I want to live my life. Iran not my job to show them what they did was wrong or right. That’s up to the universe. I just wanted peace in my heart and in my daughters heart.
I am very very civil with my ex and OW. Not because what they did was OK. Mostly because I was tired of carrying around animosity and mostly because this is what it is and I have to share space in my daughters life with them.
Recently OW’s mother nearly died. Actually she did. She coded during open heart surgery. She came back, but was obviously very ill. I am a nurse and a former ICU nurse. I reached out ro my expertise which they took me up on. I open myself to OW and told her to call me with any question I can also do this because I am so far detached. But I still know what they did was horribly wrong and immoral. But they have to deal with that. I know the person I am, how I didn’t did serve what I got. I am confident enough in who I am to just live by my code of kindness and forgiveness.
And while I don’t really even care what they think of me at all. I know OW must know any lie about my awfulness that was told must not be true. She is realizing what a douche her current husband is. And my ex knows deep down somewhere he gave up a good woman who is also a wonderful mother to his child. I can hold my head up high knowing all of that.
Your decision is completely fear based. And fear of things that probably aren’t going to happen the way you think they are. And I would hate to see fear stop you from some of the beat moments in your life.
Let the man upstairs teach your ex lessons. Not you. Being civil and not nasty will not make her think everything she did was ok. Trust me.
