Today I feel less restless, more focused on just living my life and not stressing too much. I'm stressing about the huge amount of work I have to do (I got up at 5 to start today and this is the 3rd day in a row of that) and maybe that's impacting everything else. In a way, it's kind of handy having dh living away right now, I have to focus very hard on work.
Anyway, I am recommitting to my marriage, to believing it can work, that we can both make the necessary changes, and not losing heart. I can kind of see why dh is so confused, sometimes I am too. But my aim is to be the best me that I can be, to look after myself and my family and put the effort in to regulate my emotions in the face of these storms. I can be courageous for a bit longer, I have faith in us getting through this and coming out the other end with a stronger marriage and as better people. Change is hard, but I'm a determined and intelligent person. I can do this. Hopefully my dh can too.
