Re: A familiar story with questions TEN

[RR17]

Thanks for the responses. I can't disagree with any of it.

Control is the key issue. IMO, she over responded and turned the blame back at me in order to stop a perceived attack restore control.

I hope to get to a place where I see these things while they happen. I have to allow a breach of boundaries. Much like when a child says nasty things, yet the parent realizes that they are just trying to hurt you and the parent is able to ignore it in context.
It's difficult to do with someone that you consider an equal.

In good DB fashion, I have paid attention to her actions over her limited words. I see someone that seeks an R with me. Not just a W that wants to keep the peace until I finally give up. W enjoys doing things with me. IMO if she was just copulating, she would find more reason to avoid spending time together.

I still haven't decided if I want to invite her to a car show in the morning.

Sandi although she never agreed to a plan she has shown signs of being willing to more transparent. W is not one to want to be monitored or judged against a set standard. I hope this makes sense. While dieting together she refuses to step on the scale or measure. She will stick to the diet but for whatever reason, won't quantify any progress. She plays tennis which obviously involves keeping score but there seems to an aversion to being judged by any standard. IDK

BTW, at Easter, my W's sister who has packed on a few lbs lately had her gut grabbed by my MIL and she said: "You need to get rid of this." Wow
W told me on the way home. I love my MIL and this seemed odd but I found it insightful. Make me wonder what other inappropriate things may have been experienced in my W's childhood. Things that may have lead to the way she is.
Thoughts?