Had the same exact convo with W 2 months ago about seperation rules, sex, other people, the alleged controlling, ect... Just ignore all of it. They are projecting. They are trying to control with their ground rules that they don't have any intent on following themselves. They don't know WTH they want. They want you one week, the next week you are chopped liver, the next week you are to blame for all the issues in their lives, they next week they see some change and temp check you. Stay where you are. Parked in neutral. Keep your feet planted. Keep it light and pleasant. Discuss logistics. If it segways into R talks. Listen and validate belriefly but SHUT THE R TALK DOWN IMMEDIATELY!! Do you really want to drive yourself crazy every time your W changes her mind on a weekly basis. Be polite, neutral, but removed from the MR. It's a "he loves me, he loves me not" mentality with them.
The hopeful long game outcome is you stay detached, emotionally consistent, and neutral every time your W goes either way. Your focus is you, not her.
1.) She has to realize after she leaves or after you let her go, that life is better with you. (This could take years.) 2.) You are the more attractive, consistent, emotionally stable, cool, calm and collected option. 3.) She has to pursue you, has to have total motivation and initiative to want it VERY BADLY, and work for you. She's leaving, she's staying? It shouldn't matter to you either way.
