Ok friends. Happy Weekend. I am DBusting like crazy. I feel really good.
The little hiccup could prove to be a real plus for me and here's why I think so. If the OM whom I already know, because he was with my W last year...if he is still in contact with her, he'll tell her I found his LI page and tell her. My mood around the house has been stellar. And the reason I think so is because I'm GAL. I'm accepting what happened, there's nothing I can do about it (except going forward) and I am discovering my own identity and life!!!
Sure a D could happen, and for all I know, it will. But I'm going to continue 180s, leaving her to her life and me getting mine.
I have played out the scenario in my head, she'll be wondering if I know he works here in this city (and she does too by the way), and she'll REALLY be wondering why I'm still so light hearted and positive. Why haven't I blasted her yet? Why aren't I confronting her? I'll continue to love her from a distance, being kind but detaching from the dead marriage.
It doesn't change ANYTHING. Even if there is an ongoing A. I'm gonna do my thing. I'm getting secure with my own choice of integrity that one day my kids will know and I'll be so glad for the choices I made in the middle of this mess.
I am still battling with what I did, how much I hurt her, knowing I've caused wounds. But I have made my peace with Jesus, and what I am able to do now is about my relationship with my 3 blessings.
I'm not sure if I feel so good from this being going on for 18 months OR being a part of this group OR God himself whispered to me recently that I'm going to be more than ok. But I'll take it and maintain this attitude. I can only control me.
Love y'all so much. Hope you have an amazing Saturday. Your life is not over. Your best days are ahead of you!!!
H46 W38 M12 T15 D8,S7,S5
11/12/17 "I don't want to be married like this" A began 7/12/18 Confessed A 10/1/19 EA still happening with 2 4/23/19 "I want a D, but I want to stay until I find a job"
