Anyway everything took a complete nosedive this past Sunday.
Of course divorce is something painful to go through and I've had a few people I've learned on for talking to about it. One of them was a mutual friend of ours who claimed she would keep anything either of us said private from the other.
When I dropped my son off she made some comment about how I need to "watch who I'm talking to" because I was allegedly: - "bragging" about only paying $500/mo in rent where I'm staying (which is BS... our "friend" asked me about my living situation, I stated I was able to live comfortably for now to save up, but realistically moving into any decent apartment by myself will mean I have near zero extra money to save so I'm stuck where I'm at) - trying to manipulate her by thinking about not watching my son after school the one time she asked. The discussion with our "friend" was more about how she asked me last minute, I didn't have much time off remaining, and how I internally struggled whether to help or not at first. It's true because at what point am I being taken advantage of? She is the one who wanted this... on one hand I was looking at it as why should I make it easy on her? On the other because IMO it was the right thing and got to spend some extra time with my son.
I didn't even bother trying to refute anything. So take this as a lesson about STOP talking to others about your issues. Mutual friends will pick sides even if they claim they won't.
She also asked me "what was taking so long" getting a lawyer to draft up a separation agreement. I told her I was waiting for her because I didn't want to be accused of taking control or whatever. She then went on a rant about how she doesn't have the money to get a lawyer, etc.
I contacted mine and am going to have something drawn up soon. It'll cost me $675 but at this point I don't even care. I just want something in writing to ensure I don't get screwed over if this goes all the way through.
So I've been focusing on moving forward without her as this situation just gets worse. I got some nice new shoes. My female friends tell me that women tend to notice shoes first... and my bummy looking $20 pair from Walmart weren't cutting it... hah. I now can at least understand her obsession with buying new shoes/clothes, etc. now. I guess I never really felt the need to look extra nice/attractive and that was just another thing on the list of problems.
I'm going over there tomorrow morning to go through some documents and get some stuff. She is apparently going out of town with my son for the weekend. I didn't/won't be asking where, etc. I'm taking a guess it's to see some of her family in PA.
I signed up for match.com (but didn't do anything with regards to making a profile, etc) to browse/get an idea of what the online dating pool looked like around here... got me a little excited about the potential future if things can't turn around. I then deactivated the account as I really shouldn't be pursuing someone else until the divorce is final. I have a lot of self-development to do and frankly am not ready.
I am going to try and start doing some things to be around new people more often... a friend from high school just got certified as a yoga instructor so I think I will try attending one of her classes in a few weeks, schedule permitting.
