Still Moving (Saying ILY Pt 7)

[mtb1981]

So here's what's happened...

My last post was from the end of October. We had just come to a temporary custody agreement where she would have the kids every other weekend from Friday after school until Sunday afternoon. First few weekends went fine. After that, she was wanting to pick them up on Saturday instead or would be dropping them off early on Sunday morning or Saturday night. There was always a random excuse as to why she had to. Most were ridiculous or flat out lies. She actually left the kids at school a couple of times on her weekend. First time, she said she fell asleep from taking some flu meds and woke up hours later. The second time she said there was a family emergency. That she was several hours out of town at a hospital because her great aunt's house burned down and she was at the hospital. Funny part is15 minutes after the text, I passed her driving. It was quite funny because she almost broke her neck trying to look away from me so I wouldn't recognize her. Because it's not like I recognize the van and license plate. Lol. The worst part was that there was no attempt to contact me to pick the kids up instead. They were just left there and the school called me to say they hadn't been picked up...


My thought was "Whatever". I would rather the kids be with me anyway. At least I know they're being taken care of then. I quit giving any thought to her actions or let them affect me in anyway. Although I would still get an occasional laugh out of whatever excuse she used to back out of her parenting time. Like I said earlier, Whatever. Just makes her look bad and me look better in the eyes of the court. That and I got to spend more time with the kids. So this continues for a few months. I quit answering her calls and only communicated through text and only responded when necessary. Boy, would that make her mad. But again, Whatever. I was too busy living my life and taking care of myself...


Fast forward to the end of February. I get a random text from W's best friend telling me that my kids were not safe with W and I should stop them from going there immediately. The were supposed to be going there for the weekend in a few days. She goes on to tell me that W has been smoking meth for the past several months and has been doing it in the apartment when the kids were there. There was also a night when she left the kids at her apartment unsupervised at 2 in the morning to be gone for a couple of hours to go buy drugs. I told her friend that this was all hearsay and without proof there was nothing that could be done. She then sent me some pics of W at her place with meth pipes and baggies of drug on tables, couches, etc...


I called my lawyer and he advised me to get an emergency OP preventing the kids from going there. I got it and had to go to court 2 weeks later to either extend it or come up with some other plan. Her friend was subpoenaed and told her story. W also took a hair follicle test (she claimed she was clean) as long as I took one too. Not sure what that was about. Maybe she assumed I would not want to pay for one, would fail, or back out. Not sure, but anyway I passed that thing with flying colors. She did not. At this court hearing, she also agreed to drop her request for spousal support if I dropped the request for child support. (Not sure if it was ever mentioned in earlier threads, buts she wanted spousal support. My lawyer then told me to request child support from her then to counter it). We also changed the visitation. Now she sees them supervised from 4-8 on Friday one week and noon to 6 on Sunday the next week. She's managed to back out of a few of those as well. It hasn't surprised me. My general feeling of her doing this is still Whatever.


The past 6 months I've been GAL like a mothertrucker. School will be done in about 3 weeks and I go on summer break. Looking forward to that. I've been kind of seeing a girl for a while now and that is going great. This is the happiest I've been in years. It took a while to get here, but I'm here. It seemed impossible at first. GAL is really important. Letting go of resentment is really important. Not worrying about what your ex is up to is really important. Focusing on yourself, your needs, and your life is really important. And maybe the most important thing is when the [censored] hits the fan and you feel like things aren't going your way, you just say "Whatever", put a smile on your face, and keep moving forward...