The aftermath - OrangeK

[OrangeK]

Looking back at the last year and a half of my life is still astonishing. It doesn't feel real, it honestly feels like all of this happened to somebody else or I watched it on TV or something. I have not had a face-to-face conversation that lasted more than 30 seconds with the woman I reproduce with and got married to in 15 months. The woman I see before me now is not someone I recognized. It honestly feels like the last five years of my life since she became a part of it are awesome hazy dream. The woman I knew, the man I was , the life I had and Was preparing for, all now feel like some half-remembered chapters of a book sleepily read and the details easily forgotten. The only thing that makes it all real in my head is my wonderful boy who I love more than the world. I often still feel like I don't know who I am my interest in Things That I Used to Love largely diminished. I do feel healthier more mentally and emotionally grounded everyday. Last March when I first found this forum, and read the quote that I've seen repeat it so many times but it's a marathon not a Sprint could not be more true. marathon runners speak of hitting the wall and having to push through it, I believe that wall , metaphorical as it may be, is something I broke through a long time ago. But just because you break through the wall doesn't mean the marathon is over. I still cannot see the finish line of this Marathon but running it got a lot easier a long time ago. I will continue to quaff Gatorade and keep wearing down my metaphorical running shoes. although I cannot see the finish line I know that on the other side of it awaits a sense of satisfaction, Personal Achievement and peace of mind. I look forward to the day when like Forrest Gump I've had enough running and turn my shootas towards home. for further insight into my current state of mind jump on YouTube and look up the song The soulforged by Blind Guardian